OBAMA ADMITS MAGIC 8 BALL
MAKES HIS POLICY DECISSIONS
Barack Hussein Obama II aka Barry Soetoro aka Chief Walking Eagle, blames the magic 8 ball for his procrastinations on tough calls in an interview with Michael Hastings from RollingStone Magazine.
The interview was done shortly before Hastings's death in a fiery high speed automobile crash on June 18, 2013 and appeared in Panic 2012: The Sublime and Terrifying Inside Story of Obama's Final Campaign (a Buzzfeed/Blue Rider Press Book) publication.
When asked by the longtime supporter who rose to prominence with his coverage of the Iraq War for Newsweek in the 2000s, why it takes him so long to make the tough decisions, Obama replied: "The Magic 8 Ball Valerie Jarret gave me can't seem to make up its mind sometimes."
"Yeah, Val gave one to me as a joke at Bill Ayers's house just before my 1996 Illinois Senate run for the 13th district open seat vacated by Alice Palmer. The more I used it, the more reliable it became. It's all in how you shake it. I use it for everything, so don't blame me, blame it when things go wrong."
The fortune telling, advice seeking toy developed by Mattel in the 1950s is known for its very accurate, very inaccurate, or otherwise statistically improbable answers with at best 30% correct results.
Evidently, the blame Bush days are now behind him and Barrack only needs to work on his shaking skills to get little more concise answers to the Nation's ever growing problems facing us all.
